Do you speak Engliki (or Baggism 101)

Have you ever needed to express yourself, but couldn’t find the right word ?
Did you then try to find it, but fail miserably?
What then ?
Did you give up ?
What if you could invent new words ?
Why am I whatifing ? (what + if + ing)
Aren’t we already creating words ? (Blog + Sphere = bloggosphere)
Is it ok to mix languages ? (Arabic + Englizi = Arabizi)
Can you predict the results ? (Moo-Tee = Mother in German = female form of “Die!” in Arabic)
Dude, where’s my language ? (Dude = worms in Arabic)
Who makes the rules ? (English + Wiki = Engliki)
Would this work for sentences too ? (you need my authorization abu el-shabab)
Final thoughts on reincarnation ? (To be or not to be a bee)
How about Acronyms ? (M.A.D.B. = Mothers Against Drunk Blogging)
(Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) Iz zere a world record for how many Zs you can pronounze ?
Note: Zee (Zed for those who studied English in English) is fun, but there can be only one N.

And now for the serious part of the post……….Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (Damn it I’m trying to be serious, shhhhhhhhhhh). Oh heck I forgot what I was going to say! Ok, I’ll let you help, on my mark say me me me.

Man-Purse: A small bag designed to be carried by a man. This became a necessity as men realised what women have known all along. Those little pockets in your pants are useless. Mobile, Pager, Mp3 player, Digital Camera, Wallet, Deodorant, travelling papers, gum. where do you carry all that stuff ? Brief cases are too business-oriented, and old-fashioned. Laptop carriers simply use the extra pockets in their laptop case.
Bagist (one g): A movement started by John Lennon and Yoko Ono suggesting everyone wear a large plastic bag that covers them head to toe so that people will listen to their ideas, and not discriminate based on appearance, skin, sex, color, or race. I love John Lennon, but I think he had it all wrong. People would just say: Look, it’s the bag people ! Then again things were different in the 60s.
Purse Man: A man wielding a man-purse. Purse men are unfortunately still stigmatised and ridiculed particularly by Baggistic establishments.
Baggist (two g’s): A person or entity discriminating or denying entry to purse men while allowing women carrying purses 4 times as large in without a thought. Baggism is practiced worldwide. In Amman, baggistic establishments include Carrefour, Safeway but not Cozmo (Yay). One incident that comes to mind happened in the Montreal Casino. They searched my man purse at the enterance, and then decided not to let me take it inside anyway.
Anti-Baggist: me me me!
Fanny Pack: A zippered fabric pouch strapped around the waist. A modern mutation of the military pouches soldiers wear. Less fashionable than man-purses as they are associated with senior citizens, bikers, and clueless tourists. Yet they somehow remained immune from the baggists which is why I started wearing one. Well, that and the fact that I lost at least 2 mobile phones just by placing them in my pant pockets. Not to be confused with a doggie-pack!
M.D.Y.M.: Malls denying entry to unaccompanied young males on weekends and holidays. Namely Mecca Mall. I managed to add this definition into Mecca Mall’s entry on Wikipedia, and it has survived mostly in tact for years now, although someone labeled it criticism. It’s actually a fact acknowledged unabashedly by the mall’s PR. Worse yet on weekends you will find young men huddled outside accosting women entering to ask them to escort them inside as a favor. I haven’t seen MDYMs anywhere else in the world.
Anti-MDYM: me me me!

Thanks for All the Fish:
I’d like to thank Lina Ejeilat, Douglas Adams, and William Shakespeare (in that order) for the unauthorised use (and abuse) of their beautiful sentences. I am also grateful to Dave (whose head-er belongs on mount Rushmore) for teaching me that you don’t have to decide on a single title. Kudos to KJ/Moogle for inspiring my serious alter-ego (and my spellchecker) to put up with all of this. Finally Deema for making me define random words starting a philosophical chain reaction.