As you may or may not be aware, I am not very fond of children. However I dwelled on this post by Hamede. He was feeling guilty because he swore at his mother’s father when she hit him as a child more than 37 years ago which prompted his mother to cry. I don’t know Hamede or his mother, but from my perspective, her mistake is far greater than his.
One of my most memorable teachers from high-school is my French teacher Ms Hanneh. Absolutely everyone in school hated her. She would often take a wooden ruler (the thicker the better), and ask a student to put out their palm, and then hit them again and again at least 10 times(really hard), so hard their hand would turn red. As an adult when I look back, I think she was a bitter woman who perhaps could have no husband or children of her own, and so resorted to taking out her frustration on other people’s children. A monster. I don’t understand how these people can live with themselves.
There’s no excuse for hitting children. Aside from the minor physical damage it may cause, it will leave great emotional scars. psychotherapists acknowledge it kills your child’s self-esteem. It is no coincidence that many serial killers were physically abused as children. As a bonus you are teaching your child a lesson that violence is an acceptable resort to dealing with adversity. Worse yet its a cycle, children who were hit by their parents are much more likely to hit their children in turn. What a great example we set for them.
Yes I understand the need for discipline, but there are plenty of options without resorting to violence. Cut their allowance, ground them for a certain period (depending on the severity of the mistake), take away phone privileges, anything but never ever hit them.
14 Users Commented In This Post
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 15:00:15
I totally agree.. I’m against hitting children or using violence for discipline
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 15:02:19
Those teachers I see everyday.
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 15:10:59
Khaled, its a shame. Years ago, I remember reading in the news about a teacher who threw a pencil at a student, and a major artery got ruptured on the student’s neck, and they died.. I can’t remember where in Jordan this happened now, or which school.
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 18:11:56
I am not totally against spanking children. I think they need a it sometimes…and those who tell little Ahmad to stop it or else he is going to his room or in the corner for a timeout are only fooling themselves. He will do it time and time again. That being said, I think there a HUGE difference between spanking and outright abuse, which of course I don’t condone. As a kid I probably was spanked thousands of times, and let me tell you I deserved it and a lot more, all the trouble I got in. Maybe it was a different era where spanking was permitted, but I like to think I turned out just fine. There has to be some punishment for doing wrong and I think cutting off money or sending a kid to their room just doesn’t cut it.
As for the teacher, why give her an excuse to dish out punishment. Did she just go around randomly and start beating on the poor defenseless kids? Act like responsible students who are not disruptive and you won’t get the ruler!
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 18:26:41
Luai, thank you for bringing the other side of the argument to this post. I’m glad you turned out just fine. I know my examples of discipline seem lacking, but parents know best what their children value the most. (Maybe a computer game, or a skateboard, etc…)
I was visiting a relative once, and his daughter misbehaved. He excused himself, dragged her to a room inside, and I’m not sure what he did exactly but she was screaming. I don’t understand how as a parent you can have the stomach to hit your own child.
I wanted to do something, but what could I do ? A couple of years later, I heard there was another incident, only this time, his daughter called the police, and they put him in jail for a while. Let’s just say he never laid a hand on her again. They didn’t have to whip him !
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 19:04:04
The school I moved to this year is much better, and hitting students isn’t allowed. My old school was like hell on earth, teachers had barely any boundries and they would hit pupils for whatever reason. I think hitting children is a way of saying “the way to put things right is violence”. If you have ever seen Supernanny (came on MBC4), most (or actually all) of the cases of violent children who hit other children, came from parents who hit thier children. Also, most of the cases of children who shouted or were angry, came from thier parents having arguments with them or each other. In other words, it showed that most actions children do, come from role models they know. So we can’t go hitting children and saying to them “do as I say, not as I do”, because children take from grown-ups actions and not their orders. If people taught younger people to talk thier way through problems, we would see a better enviroment.
Posted from
9-18-2007 at 20:14:01
Khaled, hopefully, one day hitting students would be illegal by law, so all schools have to comply.
Yes, he cycle holds true not only for hitting, but across the board (positive and negative behavior). Imagine telling a teen not to smoke while holding a cigarette yourself.
Posted from
9-19-2007 at 06:44:13
Ya zalameh wala emotional scars wala bateekh, hai i7na kano yedroboona bil madraseh o mashallah 3alaina bashar tabee3iyeen ma malna ishi. bas ino ana mish ma3 il dareb bs bagool ya3ni ino kaman il dala3 il zyadeh mish kwayes wil tollab lazem yet3allamo il i7tiram mo zai hal ayyam il taleb bodrob il ostaz o bibahdel si77to.
Nice new theme by the way :)
Posted from
9-19-2007 at 06:54:01
Bakkouz, it is true that respect for parents and teachers by kids is at an all time low.
Thank you, i finaly found a light on dark theme that is easy to read.
Posted from
9-19-2007 at 12:01:43
Man, firt of all this black background is enough to drive anyone away… please change it… Most people hate staring at black backgrounds, you never see a house painted black :)
Posted from
9-19-2007 at 12:32:37
Now back to the subject of beating kids, I think it’s over rated… We were all given the thick ruler in the late 80’s and early 90’s by school teachers when we misbehaved, I don’t think it’s that harsh & frankly I think our generation turned out to be much more disciplined… However, I remember that some teachers really abused that, they were sick… How can anyone slap a 5 year old on his face?!?
Limitations:
1) Age group, if kids are beaten anything below age ten I’m totally against it.
2) Severity, I don’t think its that bad if you slap a kid on his hand (you know the type, just think of: “hands off that cookie, naaaughty!”), its more of a sign of disagreement.
3) Cause of beating!? What did the kid do in the first place?
Posted from
9-19-2007 at 15:14:01
Mkilany, I wear nothing but black every day, mutasha2em :)
I don’t think its the ruler that made the previous generations more disciplined. Most Children’s shortcomings cannot be blamed on them, but on those who created them (poor parenting and education). I don’t want to offend any parents, and no I certainly don’t think I can do a better job myself, which is why I wouldn’t want any children.
Posted from
9-20-2007 at 13:10:13
Hani,
Wearing black is something and this is something else… :)
Ba3dein, people who think the way you do.. should have kids :)… we’ll end up in a complete mess if everyone with a good head said I don’t…
They might end up making this world a better place…
Posted from
9-20-2007 at 17:03:45
Mkilany, I could tolerate failure in most endeavours, but if you fail in raising a kid, you can’t just toss them in the garbage can and start over. My sister promises me that if she has kids, she will give them to 3amo Hani whenever they complain at how mean she is to them !
So far I had 2 complaints, and 2 compliments on the theme. I won’t be able to keep everyone happy no matter what I do. I promise I am trying to find a cheerful header to place on top to counterbalance the darkness.
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